


Thoughtbook

by radiochattertherapy (murderousCohort)



Series: Bars Of A Certain Kind [4]
Category: The Fandom of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 01:39:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4588152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murderousCohort/pseuds/radiochattertherapy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>These are things written down and posted from my Moleskin notebook with the Pluto symbol written on the front. The spacing may be weird. That's because it's a small notebook and I skip lines. None of this have been edited.</p><p>Warning for suicidal thoughts, depression, mentions of self harm.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. (Entry One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These are things written down and posted from my Moleskin notebook with the Pluto symbol written on the front. The spacing may be weird. That's because it's a small notebook and I skip lines. None of this have been edited.
> 
> Warning for suicidal thoughts, depression, mentions of self harm.

**Things I'm Thinking**

This is my thoughtbook  
I've saved it for today 

I'm thirteen and my chest hurts  
And my arms are hot because teal insulates 

 

i will be your lady for now  
but i won't promise  
the future  
i will not be held down by false promises


	2. Wrong (alt. title different)

Skin glitters   
Sweat like beads on his cheeks  
Sun illuminates her eyelashes   
and hair falls  
*  
Your head says man but your legs say girl  
They don't understand you  
You ache to run away from their rules  
*  
Sun lights the mirror homes  
Our bittersweet summer comes   
to a grinding halt  
as we are thrown into working times


	3. You're a mess

I'm sorry,   
you didn't make  
your way to the end of  
your fight

We buried   
them in my heart  
because that is  
where things ROT


	4. Permanence

You feel like you're in glory days  
maybe... Chasing the sun and  
surviving your fourteenth year. 

And as Perks of Being A Wallflower  
put it, you feel infinite. 

Sometimes it hurts, to fight at   
life.   
You love them though.


	5. exhaustion

When you're tired you want   
to sleep   
In the same way when you're   
trapped you want to be free  
That is how I feel about school

it causes me pain   
there is an ache

I an separated from the people   
That I love  
My friends   
My sisters and brothers   
The woods, who are a spirit

I am broken at heart when  
I cannot feel them there

Or the pulse of the ground 'neath my barefeet

(Don't sleep on the desk)


	6. Fly away little broken angel

intricate is dark and boney (it reminds me of a cathedral) (crafted of limbs)   
luminescent is green-bright   
mushrooms   
dangerous words


	7. Music

it is Your manifesto  
You feel it beating as your  
blood  
the pulsing of a weird heart  
the queerest feeling encompasses you  
it fits you   
it fits in that space in   
your heart. that empty  
spot within you. it's your   
music. the drum you march to. 

it calls to you at night   
the rhytm   
and you need it in your  
ears, mumbling yelling   
you what today will  
be   
this. this is your   
story. blank pages  
black ink heartwrenching


	8. keep them safe (it's your job)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caution for mentions of self harm.

heart beating fast he  
shouts you cry

later blood pulses within  
you and you want it out

far away someone sObs  
sometimes it's you but  
not today

the music pauses. yoy  
feel an ache  
you feel a pain

Knight - the healer - the  
protector- you care for  
them.


End file.
